Connecting and Reconnecting

The past couple of years have been filled with travel and many adventures.  This year is becoming one of connecting and reconnecting.  It is happening on multiple levels.  For instance, I have an ongoing purpose to my life, to keep my family connected with one another.  This takes planning, resources and effort.  I use every means available.

For example, earlier this month, Bill flew us in his little plane to Denver to visit our daughter's family.  This was not only an unforgettable adventure for the two of us, but it was the culmination of his goal to take his family members for a ride and create lasting memories.  The day after we arrived, Bill let our 7-year old grandson fly the plane for a few moments, while our son-in-law persisted in keeping his 4-year old daughter in her seatbelt in the backseat.  Later, I enjoyed holding this same 4-year old granddaughter while we read stories together, and laughing while chasing the 2-year old from one precocious mess to another.  

In the future, we may not be able to afford personally flying to see each person in our family, but we will persist in either driving or flying on commercial airlines to visit each of them, at least once a year.  There is no substitution for a real hug and kiss, and the feeling that comes from putting an arm around an adult son and feeling his arm around you, or holding a new born child.

Sometimes I answer the phone to hear several small voices jabbering on the other end.  Occasionally I decipher a word or two while responding with, "Wow!", "How fun!" Other times, I talk with each of my children or their spouses.  Sometimes we cry on each other's shoulders or share news about a new job, new recipe or something else happening in our lives.  Using SKYPE is entertaining and sometimes awkward, as we try to learn how to visit with the distraction of seeing ourselves, or the children pulling faces.

I have offered to tend grandchildren, once a month, for each of my two children who live nearby.  I felt the need to establish boundaries that allow me to look forward to spending time with them, while providing a date night for the adults.  We also plan family dinners, have birthday celebrations, and just hang out on some days.  This combination of structured and unstructured activities flow and intersect with one another.

Dating my husband once a week has been a tradition we established soon after we were married.  We realized how important it was to continue to court and enjoy one another.  Early on we would get an ice cream or go for a ride up the canyon.  Now, we sometimes buy a meal to bring home and eat while watching a movie on Netflix, or eat dinner at the cafeteria and attend a session at the temple.  This year we have incorporated the gift our children gave us for Christmas into our date nights.  We attend a play once a month and invite friends or family to join us.

We are also participating in a rotating dinner night with members in the ward.  Everyone has the option to participate, and we have considered joining them before, but this is the first year we signed up.  All those who sign up are organized into groups of four couples or multiple singles.  Each couple hosts one dinner at their home.  After rotating through all four couples in four months, the groups are rearranged so we join another group.  This way we become more closely acquainted with many of our friends in the neighborhood.  Last night, we took chips and salsa to our neighbors and had our first experience.  After eating a delicious dinner of sweet pork salad, we slowly ate marshmallow brownies and visited for two more hours.  It was one of the most pleasant evenings I have ever enjoyed.

I appreciate and treasure the moments I have with family and friends.  I do not take them for granted, and I will persist in helping create more memories.  These times of connecting don't "just happen"; we have to create, choose, invite and help them be realized.

Christmas Gift Giving - Experiences

For Christmas this year, our oldest daughter asked us not to send toys to their children as presents.  Instead, she asked for "experiences" that would create memories all year.  So, we bought them a family-season-pass to the Zoo.  Her mother-in-law purchased them a family-season-pass to the Science and History Museum.  

This same daughter was in charge of getting Bill and I a Christmas gift from all our children.  They pool their money together, and one of them selects the gift.  It was the perfect year to request a contribution toward season tickets to a small playhouse nearby.  Then Bill and I bought two extra season tickets, so we can invite family or friends to go with us.  Our daughter was excited to create a Christmas experience package for us.

I am in charge of giving a gift this year to my father, from all my siblings.  So, following the theme of an "experience", Bill offered to take Dad on an airplane ride.  My father was a pilot during WWII, and I recently found out he once had a comercial pilot license (but chose a different occupation), so he was excited to fly again.  And, this experience was as much a present for Bill as for Dad, because he is always looking for a reason to go flying and take someone with him.  The three of us flew from Logan over the Wasatch Mountain Range to Bear Lake.  The crisp wintry air gave a clear outline to the peaks below, and the sun cast shadows among the trees, mountain slopes, and from the clouds onto the water below.  My father enjoyed putting his hands and feet on the controls for a while.  Now, all three of us retain the gift of a treasured memory.

Dreams Journey - Poem

Dreams Journey

Dreams journey

One magical night

Fingertip to fingertip

You lift me in flight

N'er a whisper

Nor a care

Floating softly

Through the air

Ever safe

Side by side

Visions dream

Oceans wide

Janice Harten

Oct 18, 2010

Copyright © 2012 Janice Harten.  All rights reserved.

Flying - Dreams Come True

Bill piloting plane

My husband is taking flight lessons.  When his mother passed away last year, he chose to celebrate her life by doing something that would bring him joy, with the money she left him.  Although this is a beautiful sentiment, I have to admit, I was not happy about his decision, because it was one of the few choices he has made completely without my input.   And because this involved some risk and demanded a large amount of time and money, I moped for several months.  Then Bill hit a snag while trying to meet all the FAA health requirements.  However, after a few frustrating months of meeting their qualifications, he finally passed and is back in the pilot seat.

Bountiful Temple in the distance

For Bill's birthday this spring, he asked for only one thing.  He wanted to take me on his first cross country training flight.  I agreed it would be fun to do, and so, he talked with an instructor and set a date.  He spent all day Saturday, preparing his first flight plan.  Upon arriving at the small airport nearby, his instructor patiently spent the next hour revising and teaching him how to correctly plot his flight, using manual rulers and instruments and weather updates.  It was mildly interesting, to the extent I could understand what they were saying, and increasingly intimidating.  I realized I was back in Math class, but I wasn't doing so well.

Sunset over Antelope Island

However, then things became more interesting, as we approached the plane.  Bill went through a thorough and detailed check of the Cessna single engine airplane, and then we climbed on board.  I sat in the back seat and we put on our headphones.  After taxiing and communicating over the radio, we were finally airborne.  And to our delight, we discovered a breathtaking sunset over the lake to our left, with a full moon rising over the Wasatch Mountains on our right.  And, on this night, the moon was unusually large, called a "Super Moon", because of it's closer proximity to the earth.  The ground was covered with the calm colors of early evening and the light shown off the water ponds below.  I was kicking myself for forgetting to bring my camera to capture it all.  I snapped a few, very inadequate pictures with my cell phone.

Moon rising over the Wasatch Front

I tried to remain quiet, so Bill could concentrate on what seemed like a thousand little things happening all at once.  I noticed his instructor's totally calm demeanor.  I decided either he was gifted, to subject himself to flights with student pilots, or crazy.  I was impressed with Bill's ability to send and interpret radio calls of other aircraft and airports we passed, while changing course or ascending and descending to different altitudes, on our way to a small airport in Logan.  I felt a little tense as he circled and prepared for landing, but he succeeded in flying a smooth touch and go, and pulled back into the air for our return trip, this time through Sardine Canyon.  It was exciting to see the mountains up close and recognize the roads we normally travel in the car.

In previous years, Bill shared some of his nighttime dreams with me, where he would fly and hover over things.  I felt sad that I had not had similar experiences in my sleep.  Then, one night, I dreamed Bill took me flying with him.  It was like in the Superman movies.  We flew side by side, with our finger tips touching.  I knew if I let go I would fall, but as long as I was touching him, I was safe.  It was a beautiful and sweet experience for me.  And I remember awakening and laying in bed, remembering the feelings I had during this dream together.  On that night, I shared the dream with Bill and thanked him for taking me flying.

And, now, here we were, literally soaring together in the air, on this beautiful night.

Some dreams come true.