A Lesson in Forgiveness

Each Sunday I help teach the Sunbeams, a small class of children, 3-4 years old.  They are wiggly, emotional and loving.  They copy everything I, and another sister in the ward, do and say.  They are delightful to watch.  I enjoy small moments when one plays with my bracelet, or another snuggles close.  I feel the profound responsibility to help teach correct and true principles to newly forming minds and spirits.

Last week I taught a lesson on forgiveness.  I shared with them the story of how Jesus forgave those who were putting nails in his hands and feet, while being crucified.  Then we talked about ways someone might hurt us, and we practiced saying "I'm sorry", and "I forgive you".   The lesson has stayed on my mind all week, and this morning I realized the most important part of forgiveness, which I neglected to teach.

Recently, I felt hurt by the actions of someone else.  I withdrew emotionally and wanted them to be sorry for what they had done.  I was waiting for them to apologize to me.  Now, I recognize the fallacy of my understanding.  It seems that I am learning this for the first time, after so many years of life.  Have I ever truly practiced and understood the power of forgiveness?

So, here is what I am learning.  Forgiveness is an action exercised by one person, independent of anyone or anything else.  It does not require a decision on the part of anyone other than the one doing the forgiving.  It is a power I can experience whenever I choose.  For me, forgiveness is first an act of sorrow, as I experience the pain of intentional or unintentional harm.  Then, by not seeking revenge and harm on the perpetrator, but instead praying for their welfare, I experience healing and ultimately joy, as the weight of ill feelings is replaced by peace and love.  I can't change the other person, or expect them to understand or feel what I want them to feel.  I only have power to pray to let go of the hurt, and love  and accept that they are who they are, and love myself enough to let Christ take away the pain.

To me, this is one of the greatest gifts of the atonement of Jesus Christ.  Life and light replaces darkness.  I feel my spirit and soul restored.  Now, I can separate my own actions from the actions of others, and therefore, I am not responsible for their choices.  I become accountable to God, for what is in my own heart, and this frees me from the sins and burdens of others.  It restores love, peace and joy, and allows my life to move forward, rather than get stuck in the past.

I am grateful for the simple truths of the gospel of Jesus Christ and for his example of perfect forgiveness and love.  I am grateful to experience forgiveness toward others.  I am grateful for the forgiveness my Savior and others grant me.  This morning my heart feels light again, His light.  And I hope I will choose to forgive again, only more quickly, the next time.