Sunday, January 27, 2013

Connecting and Reconnecting

The past couple of years have been filled with travel and many adventures.  This year is becoming one of connecting and reconnecting.  It is happening on multiple levels.  For instance, I have an ongoing purpose to my life, to keep my family connected with one another.  This takes planning, resources and effort.  I use every means available.

For example, earlier this month, Bill flew us in his little plane to Denver to visit our daughter's family.  This was not only an unforgettable adventure for the two of us, but it was the culmination of his goal to take his family members for a ride and create lasting memories.  The day after we arrived, Bill let our 7-year old grandson fly the plane for a few moments, while our son-in-law persisted in keeping his 4-year old daughter in her seatbelt in the backseat.  Later, I enjoyed holding this same 4-year old granddaughter while we read stories together, and laughing while chasing the 2-year old from one precocious mess to another.  

In the future, we may not be able to afford personally flying to see each person in our family, but we will persist in either driving or flying on commercial airlines to visit each of them, at least once a year.  There is no substitution for a real hug and kiss, and the feeling that comes from putting an arm around an adult son and feeling his arm around you, or holding a new born child.

Sometimes I answer the phone to hear several small voices jabbering on the other end.  Occasionally I decipher a word or two while responding with, "Wow!", "How fun!" Other times, I talk with each of my children or their spouses.  Sometimes we cry on each other's shoulders or share news about a new job, new recipe or something else happening in our lives.  Using SKYPE is entertaining and sometimes awkward, as we try to learn how to visit with the distraction of seeing ourselves, or the children pulling faces.

I have offered to tend grandchildren, once a month, for each of my two children who live nearby.  I felt the need to establish boundaries that allow me to look forward to spending time with them, while providing a date night for the adults.  We also plan family dinners, have birthday celebrations, and just hang out on some days.  This combination of structured and unstructured activities flow and intersect with one another.

Dating my husband once a week has been a tradition we established soon after we were married.  We realized how important it was to continue to court and enjoy one another.  Early on we would get an ice cream or go for a ride up the canyon.  Now, we sometimes buy a meal to bring home and eat while watching a movie on Netflix, or eat dinner at the cafeteria and attend a session at the temple.  This year we have incorporated the gift our children gave us for Christmas into our date nights.  We attend a play once a month and invite friends or family to join us.

We are also participating in a rotating dinner night with members in the ward.  Everyone has the option to participate, and we have considered joining them before, but this is the first year we signed up.  All those who sign up are organized into groups of four couples or multiple singles.  Each couple hosts one dinner at their home.  After rotating through all four couples in four months, the groups are rearranged so we join another group.  This way we become more closely acquainted with many of our friends in the neighborhood.  Last night, we took chips and salsa to our neighbors and had our first experience.  After eating a delicious dinner of sweet pork salad, we slowly ate marshmallow brownies and visited for two more hours.  It was one of the most pleasant evenings I have ever enjoyed.

I appreciate and treasure the moments I have with family and friends.  I do not take them for granted, and I will persist in helping create more memories.  These times of connecting don't "just happen"; we have to create, choose, invite and help them be realized.

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